I failed to speak up.
I attended a Bible study group recently and as people talked about the existence of God, the general consensus among almost everyone was that none of them had ever really struggled with that big cosmic question—does God exist? Raised in Christian homes, the reality of God had been part of their life for as long as they could remember.
Now I was raised to believe in God too, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had some questions. However, I didn’t bring that up in the group. I wasn’t scared to speak or anything. I just didn’t want to slow things down.
I think I was wrong about that though. I probably should have said something.
We all have questions sometimes. After all, we entrust our lives to someone we can’t see, touch, hear, smell, or feel. That takes some effort in our science-loving, fact-based world. But what do we do with our doubts and questions?
I’m not an expert, but I think everyone has to settle these matters for themselves. Ignoring, breezing by, and dismissing our questions about God do nothing but leave the questions alive and the answers weak and vague. So listen to the arguments. Think about them. Examine the facts. And pray. In all fairness, you can’t forget the last one. If you have questions about God, then it’s only right that you ask him.
An answer every time.
So far I’ve gotten an answer every time. There have been two questions, however, that had me stumped for months/years. One had to do with death and the other was a historical argument based on stories predating Jesus. Neither one could I find a satisfying response to. And yes, I prayed and waited. Silence. It was quite frustrating. And disheartening. And it meddled with my faith.
But what’s a person to do? Walk away because the answer didn’t come fast enough? Part of this thing is letting go and trusting God. Trusting him to tell you what you need to know when you need to know it. Believing he loves you. And letting him help you with it.
Jesus didn’t answer all of the disciples’ questions right when they asked him, and those parables kept a lot of people confused.
Beauty in the Answer
It amazes me that God even bothers to answer my questions. I’m not so sure what I’d think if someone walked up and asked me to prove my existence. Rolling my eyes and walking away seems like a good response. God doesn’t walk away, though. And every time he’s answered me the most precious part of it hasn’t been the answer but the way in which he showed it to me. A wrapping me up in his truth and settling of his peace in my heart.
Don’t ask me to explain it. I can’t.
But if you ask God to explain it, I bet he could. He’s not afraid of your questions. Are you afraid to ask them?